Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How do I get my body in shape?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Am I the unique Gen Z if I dislike TikTok and prefer the 2000s technology trends like retro consoles, CRTs, and CD/DVDs?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

'Kindness isn't a weakness,' Steve Carell tells Northwestern grads at commencement - Chicago Sun-Times

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Is there porn on TikTok?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Social Security is making payments of $2,000 on average on Wednesday, June 18: find out who gets a check - Diario AS

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

Where is best free porn?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Does having the wrong address on my car insurance invalidate my policy?

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Are the seasons in Ireland different from those in Scotland, England, and Wales? Or are they just milder versions of each other?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

Do you anal play alone?

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do most people care so much about what others think? Are they afraid of society norms?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I can read

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I can count